The Internet

is a series of tubes.

Introduction History Terminology Contact

Introduction

On June 28, 2006, Alaskan Senator Ted Stevens uttered those famous words about the internet being a series of tubes. There was a backlash of responses from the internet community contesting that Senator Stevens was completely wrong. They said the internet was NOT a series of tubes. Well, it turns out that both Senator Stevens and the angry netizens are correct. The early internet was indeed a series of tubes, with connections between several US Universities. Since that time, the backbone of the internet has been replaced by more efficient pipes carrying dihydrogen monoxide.

History

The Advanced Research Projects Agency (ARPA) was created after the USSR successfully launched Sputnik into orbit around the Earth. Thus began the Cold War, and it became necessary to create a resilient network between computers around the United States in the event of a nuclear war with Russia.

ARPA began experimenting with transporting information through interconnected pneumatic tubes. These tests proved successful, and several tubes were permanently installed between several US Universities. Computer scientists from around the United States could now access remote systems from thousands of miles away. However, there was one glaring problem with these tubes. Only one small piece of information, known as a packet, was able to be sent at a time in each of these tubes. This early internet was referred to as a packet switching network, because each packet had to be taken out of one tube and switched to another tube for the return journey.

Searching for an answer to this problem, one researcher came up with the solution while watering his lawn. He noticed that the stream of water from his garden hose would be an ideal way to transfer information. He surmised that the stream of liquid could be given an electrical charge which could be read by a computer. Instead of using pneumatic tubes and sending information one packet at a time, he suggested using fluid filled pipes to "stream" these pieces of information to their destination.

This idea was applauded, and scientists now searched for a medium which would fill the pipes. It needed to be a fluid that was readily available, and could hold an electical charge. Dihydrogen Monoxide was selected because of its stable nature and abundent quantity on Earth.

Shortly after this development, the pneumatic tubes were replaced with the more efficient dihydrogen monoxide filled pipes. These pipes still exist today, and comprise the backbone of the internet as we know it.

Terminology

Anchor Tag - In HTML, the anchor tag <A>, is used to link to another section of the current page, or another page alltogether. The tag is typically drawn as a ship's anchor in HTML editing programs, making reference to the ocean-like fluid nature of dihydrogen monoxide.

Bit Bucket - Bit buckets are typically used to capture dropped packets, thus saving the valuable dihydrogen monoxide. After a sufficient number of dropped packets are captured, they can be recycled back into the internet.

Congestion Control - The pipes connected to the internet can become congested due to contaminants entering through unmonitored connections. Congestion can be mitigated by installing filters that capture the contaminants before they are allowed too far into the internet. These filters must be periodically changed by qualified technicians.

DHCP - Dihydrogen Monoxide Configuration Protocol. This protocol is responsible for giving unique addresses to devices attached to the internet.

Dropped Packet - When a pipe connected to the internet springs a leak, the dihydrogen monoxide will escape and the data it is transferring will never make it to the destination. These packets of information are said to be dropped. Dropped packets are typically caught with a bit bucket, so that they can be recycled back into the internet.